My Take On The Candidates

There are a lot of options out there for the American voter in 2008. I don't know who I'll vote for, I don't know who you'll vote for, but one candidate that is a true dark horse in this campaign is Cthulhu. You might nit recognize Cthulhu at first. He's been sleeping for quite some time. Which is a good thing, because if he had been alive he would have been eating men's (and women's) souls, and generally causing a bad time for everyone.

But now he's back, and he wants your vote. While other candidates will simply get on a stump and tell you what you want to hear, leaving you guessing as to their real intentions, Cthulhu is up front and candid. He is an elder god, from the lovely city of R'lyeh, located in the South Pacific ocean, and he wants to wreak utter evil havoc on man (and woman) kind. Can you handle the honesty?

Thomas Jefferson Was A Super Computer

Did you know that Thomas Jefferson, third president of the United States was a super computer? Don't believe me? Well, apparently you didn't know that Mr. Jefferson was known as a "polymath" , AKA super genius. A quick run down of his write up on the ever-so-knowing Wikipedia reveals:

As a political philosopher, Jefferson was a man of the Enlightenment and knew many intellectual leaders in Britain and France. He idealized the independent yeoman farmer as exemplar of republican virtues, distrusted cities and financiers, and favored states' rights and a strictly limited federal government. Jefferson supported the separation of church and state and was the author of the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom (1779, 1786). He was the eponym of Jeffersonian democracy and the co-founder and leader of the Democratic-Republican Party, which dominated American politics for a quarter-century. Jefferson served as the wartime Governor of Virginia (1779–1781), first United States Secretary of State (1789–1793) and second Vice President (1797–1801).

A polymath, Jefferson achieved distinction as, among other things, a horticulturist, statesman, architect, archaeologist, paleontologist, author, inventor and founder of the University of Virginia. When President John F. Kennedy welcomed forty-nine Nobel Prize winners to the White House in 1962 he said, "I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent and of human knowledge that has ever been gathered together at the White House — with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone."

Did you catch that? The dude did just about everything you can imagine, a few times over ... just before breakfast. Oh, and he loved to have sex with his slave, Sally Hemings. That's what America is, bad ass contradictions left and right. I love liberty! I hate slavery (but, you know, I have a few slaves that I plan on freeing just as soon as I get out of debt ...)